I think I’ll part exchange my soul for a trip to the moon. Trouble is I don’t know which part. Oh you may say it’s simple, give away the evil part but I’m in two minds about that – I’m quite attracted to my sins, they make me what I am. A goody two shoes is very dull. On the other hand, I don’t want to be pure evil, it’s the shades and contrasts that make life worth living. 

So, then I think how about half, straight down the middle, good and bad. Except I’m no expert about where the sins and the good deeds gather. Are they attracted to one another, good with good, or do they just cluster any which way? Buggered if I know. 

The dealer says he’ll take it any which way it comes but it’s got to be half – not an ounce less or a gramme more. 

“Can you weigh a soul?” I ask. 

“Oh yes,” he says, “I weigh the whole soul and then take 50% - you can choose how I slice it but it’s got to be exactly half.” 

“You sound like an old hand,” I said.  

“No, not really,” he replies, “but I’ve done a few deals in my time. There’s a real market in souls, whole souls are best but demi souls will do nicely. You might not believe this but some people don’t have a soul at all – they’re desperate, they are. Do anything, even finance a trip to the moon.” 

“Will I die?” I ask. “I mean there’s not much point if I do, I won’t see anything.” I’m having second thoughts by now. 

“No, not at all, it’s a bit like a kidney, you’ll get by fine. Your moral values will narrow a bit; you’ll have less capacity for good and for evil too. In fact many clients have said life is a lot simpler.” 

“So they remember then what life was like before?” 

“Well, just a little, it’s a vague feeling. Many say they feel happier now, not so stressed about life because it’s so much simpler, less agonizing.” 

I could relate to that. 

“Does it hurt?” My final question now – I was going to do this – see the moon and have a less stressful, more straightforward life – I had to be on a winner here. 

“You’ll feel a slight tugging sensation around the heart. But there’s no pain, I just need to loosen it from its moorings, as it were.” 

“And how does it come out?” 

“That’s a trade secret, you wouldn’t want anyone but a trained professional to do this job and I can’t have every Tom, Dick and Harry copying me – it’s an art form this is.” 

“But you will put it back?” 

“Of course, of course. A deal’s a deal, I always keep my word.” 

So I did it. And I saw the moon and it was good, well I think it was good. Thing is I have trouble telling nowadays, side effect of the op I suppose. But life is OK and I’m pretty certain I’m happier now – but I can’t really tell for sure. Oh and I’ve gone right off soul music – too many memories.  

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Chris Bleach lives in Halifax in the North of England with his wife, two children and a dog who thinks she's human. He writes about business for a living but much prefers to write about life. He has been not been writing and submitting for long, but with the encouragement of his internet writing group, has had several publications including stories in Eclectica, 7Q and SOR.  

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