Lil-RED's Page

Lil-RED's page... an autobiography :-)

Howdy... I'm Lil-RED. I'm Don & Darlene Custer's 1974 Jeep CJ-5. This story is a bit lengthy, so lean back and relax while I tell you all about myself. I do want to warn you first, my tale is just a bit spooky. You see I have died and been brought back to life on four separate occasions. I'm nothing like Frankenstein's creation, but you might say I am sort of a Bionic Jeep. Let me explain...

I first came into this world as a 1978 CJ-5. My first lifetime was spent in Ohio from 1978 to 1984. I had two owners during that time. Both were great folks, but they were sure hard on me. My first owner used me as a "Work Jeep" during the week and as a "Rodeo Jeep" on the weekends. You name it and I probably did it. I spent the longest part of my first lifetime with my first owner. My second owner was an older gentleman who only used me in bad weather (snow and ice). Unfortunately he passed away before I got to know him very well. Anyway, by the end of the winter of 1983-84 I was about rusted apart. My body was rusted beyond repair and even my frame had holes rusted through it. My top was a tattered mess (brown top/black doors and duct tape), and my black interior was solid brown with mud. My motor and driveline were still in good shape, but I was so pitiful looking that no one in their right mind would look at me twice. I knew I was doomed and I was just patiently waiting for the day one of those big old trucks would come and haul me off to the "BoneYard."

One cold, but sunny, Saturday morning in early April 1984, I was snoozing under a big Oak tree, dreaming about my younger days, when the slamming of a car door awakened me. I looked out toward the street and saw two men get out of the ugliest darned Plymouth station wagon I ever saw in all of my few years. It had been brush-painted with a dull, ugly, gray-looking enamel. That poor thing looked worse than I did! Anyway, this red-headed guy, with whiskers, was looking straight at me and grinning like a 'possum..... well... you know what I mean. There was no doubt in my mind that he must have been nuts! The fellow with him was just shaking his head and trying to avoid the whole situation. This crazy looking red-headed guy looked me over like he was shopping for a ribeye steak. He looked in me, under me, over me, and I think he even tried to look through me. He prodded, and probed, and jabbered, and worst of all, he just kept on grinning. Then a horrible thought hit me... these guys were from the "BoneYard," and this crazy one was sizing me up for the crusher. I knew the time would come... I just wasn't ready yet. Then, just as quick as he came, he left again... didn't say one word... just left. Oh well, I thought..... the world's full of 'em.

A few days later the crazy red-headed guy came back. He had a girl with him this time. He checked my oil, water, and tire pressure. He brought a can of gasoline and poured it in my tank (which leaked). He even put a new battery in me. He seemed like he almost knew what he was doing. When he finally cranked me over, I did everything in my power to make a good impression, because crazy or not, I knew that somehow I had to convince him that I was still too good to go to the crusher. The very thought of that crusher still makes me shudder today! Anyway, the next thing I knew we were going down the road, and this guy was back to doing his grinning thing again. This character was really making me nervous!

When we got to the end of our short ride I found out that the crazy guy's name was Don. The girl that came with him was his wife and her name was Darlene. I liked her right from the start! I found out from Darlene that Don wasn't really crazy, he just wasn't wrapped real tight. Then I met their two little boys, Donnie and Darren (they really were little then). All of a sudden things began to make sense... I had a new home, and new owners! I wasn't destined for the "BoneYard" after all! In spite of what I looked like... these folks liked me for what I was! I had a new family! This was the beginning of my second lifetime.

I was in bad shape when I first met Don & Darlene.

The whole family pitched in from the very start and began to nurse me back to good health. The first project was cleaning. Don had owned me for almost a week before he discovered that my brown interior was really black. I was covered with mud! How they got it all out I'll never know, but they did. Don patched my gas tank. Next they fixed my old top and doors to keep the rain, snow, and cold out. Don patched some of my rust holes with whatever he could find to make patches with. My left front fender was patched with a panel cut from an old hot-water heater. Crude, but it worked! Then Don started on my mechanical repairs. He went through me from radiator cap to tail light. I got new hoses, wires, gaskets, lights, and anything else that even looked questionable. Mechanically, I was in A1 shape. By fall of 1984 I was running like a magic carpet and I was ready, willing, and able to take my new family through the coming winter months. Boy did they have fun with me! I think we went out riding in every snowstorm that came that winter. I never once let them down either. They knew they could depend on me.

In the spring of 1985 I was well rewarded for my good service. One pleasant day in March, Don and little Darren started taking me apart. Don still had that pitiful looking Plymouth station wagon, so he drove it while I was out of service. They took me down to my bare frame. Every last bit of the rust damage was repaired and I was given one of the best anti-rust treatments available. I got everything from a new gas tank to a new windshield frame. Then for a finishing touch, Don & Darlene got me a brand new fiberglass body from Four Wheel Drive Hardware (we lived about 15 miles from them at that time). It took about ten weeks, almost non-stop, to get me finished, but when I was done, I was just as proud cruising through town as Don and my family was riding in me. I had surely come a long way since that first day Don spotted me setting under that big Oak tree.

Just a short year later, my family had me looking like brand new!

In June of 1985, Don accepted a job with IBM Corporation in Charlotte NC. By the first of September our old home in Ohio had been sold and we were all getting settled into our new home (new to us) near Rockwell NC. Everything was going very well, and we loved North Carolina (especially the weather).

One night in June of 1988, Don and I were on our way home from working the second shift at IBM when we were involved in an accident. The details of what happened are much too complicated to even begin to explain, but to make a long story short, Don steered me into the path of an oncoming car. Don came out without a scratch, but I didn't make it. My spine (frame) was bent and broken, and my beautiful fiberglass body was in pieces. I was dead. This was the end of my second lifetime.

Don was devastated. He sort of gave up on life in general for awhile. Finally he went to see his good friend Mike who was virtually a magician when it comes to restoring a wrecked vehicle. Mike looked me over and told Don that he thought he could bring me back to life. Believe me, Don didn't waste any time at all in taking him up on that offer. Mike and Don proceeded to locate some of my deceased relatives (BoneYard Jeeps), got all the necessary pieces, and they went to work. Mike fixed my frame and body parts (he was also very good with fiberglass), and gave me a new paint job. Don took care of my mechanical repairs. In a few short months I was not only back to my old self again, I was actually better than before. I was riding high on lifetime number three. And most important, Don was alive again! Yeah!!!... grinning from ear to ear!

My apologies... we have a definite shortage of pictures here.
Don's spirit was broken and he just couldn't bear to take pictures of me after the wreck.
But let me tell you... he didn't hesitate one bit after Mike waved his magic wand!

In 1993, a friend of Don's, up in Ohio, was going to part out his 1974 CJ-5 (my cousin) that had fallen victim to Ohio's infamous road salt. Though the old metal body had literally rusted apart, the frame and driveline had somehow survived with hardly any damage at all. Also, many of my cousin's major parts were either newer or just in much better shape than mine. Don saw this as a great opportunity to give me another fresh start. I'm sure glad he did!

Don bought the rust-bucket, hauled it home, took the best parts from both of us, and went to work. In a few short months he had me purring like I had just rolled off the showroom floor. Since more of my cousin's major parts than my own were used in the overhaul, I became a 1974. Don said this seemed more appropriate, but I think it was just because his oldest son, Donnie, was born that year. Anyway, he reused my fiberglass body. My old original 3-speed transmission was replaced with a Jeep T-18 (6.32:1 granny gear) 4-speed. Don decided to use my original AMC 20 rear axle because I already had new heavy-duty Moser axle shafts and the whole thing had recently been overhauled. My front Dana 30 axle was swapped for my cousin's since it had never been wrecked. In fact, my whole driveline has been renewed and made stronger. I also have LockRight lockers in both my differentials, and a Ramsey 8000 pound winch mounted on my front end just in case those lockers need some help. There isn't very much about me anymore that you could call stock, and that's why I began my story by telling you that I'm sort of a Bionic Jeep.

You see, Don had built me up with intentions of using me for serious offroading, but then decided he just didn't have the heart to abuse me again (Darlene knew that before he ever started). Anyway... this is how I began my fourth lifetime, and I think this is the best one yet!

Lil-RED (fall of 1996), with Don in the driver's seat.

Well... that's about all there is to tell. Don & Darlene are still my owners and my best friends. They are both retired and enjoying life to the fullest. Donnie and Darren are grown up and have families and homes of their own.

I am still basically Don's vehicle. Darlene doesn't drive me as she doesn't get along well with a clutch. Don has mentioned an engine swap and converting to an automatic transmission. Whether or not this will actually happen is anyone's guess. Last fall, I became the official tow vehicle for Don's new Bass Baby fishin' boat. It's really sweet!

This page was last reviewed and updated on August 20, 2009.

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