Handling Grief Through The Holidays
By Joanie Overbeck - TLC Group, Dallas Texas
Contrary to popular belief and advertisers, the holidays are not a time
everyone looks forward to. If you have lost someone through death or divorce
or lost your home, your job or your dreams or relocated or..., this holiday
season may be dreaded. You may wish you could just snap your fingers and
it would be January.
Even though no one can take away your pain or struggle, there are things
to do that will make the holidays less stressful and more enjoyable. One
of the most difficult aspects of traumatic change is loss of control which
leads to feelings of instability and insecurity. By implementing the following,
you can begin to regain control and take some very positive steps toward
loss recovery.
Don't play ostrich and let the holidays ambush you. Divide tasks into essential
and non-essential. Shop by catalog or when the stores are less crowded. Change
the routine or location. Start a new tradition. And, consult with immediate
family members so all voices are heard.
If you need help in preparation of a meal, ask. If you have some bittersweet
times and need a shoulder to lean on, ask. If you want to talk about your
loved one or the difficulty of this holiday, ask. Your family and friends
are not mind-readers.
There will be rough times and days. Decide on what your stress reducer will
be - hot baths, long walks, deep breathing exercises, calling a friend,
etc.
Make sure you get extra rest and eat well. Overdoing (or dancing as fast as you can) is often a reaction to grief which can lead to total physical and mental exhaustion if carried to an extreme. You have enough to deal with; be kind to yourself and those that have to interact with you.
Although you may have been through the most difficult year of your life,
you have also grown in compassion and understanding for others. By using
that knowledge to help someone else, you give meaning to your loss.
TLC Group grants anyone the right to use this information without compensation so long as the copy is not used for profit or as training materials in a profit making activity such as workshops, lectures, and seminars, and so long as this paragraph is retained in its entirety.